This is what grief feels like

A couple of seconds ago since my eyes were wide-open,

My mind got hunted by a terribly fearful reality that

Forever is an endless period of time.

I do not face anything difficult yet everything seems to be unmanageable.

This is the thousandth time I feel like my heart is racing,

As fast as horserace in the summertime.

My cheeks are flooded with brine coming from my eyes,

And in my blurry vision– our beautiful memories are played in a majestic theater show,

Which stabs my chest a little more painful until breathing is not a natural thing to do. 

I rue everything I have not told you about when our eyes met— or

When my ears could hear your voice clearly.

I must admit that I yearn for your physical presence.

A thunder of regret strikes my head.

I  should have done things to show that I am happy to have you in my life.

As simple as saying good morning and putting a smile on my face– 

Or a solemn thing such as “I love you so much and I mean it”,

With a little kiss on your right cheek –or a tight hug. 

Forever seems to be a scary timeline,

And–

I do not know when I will see you again.

If I could see you tonight,

I would want you to whisper to me in your angelic voice,

promise me, that,

You will be the first to greet me in eternity.

After I finish my task and am ready to leave this earthly life,

I will live with you in another dimension.

When that time comes,

We will never lose each other again. 

Tiffany - 1/3/2022

Rest easy. I never miss anyone as much as I miss you.